Subconscious Adrenaline Junkie ǀ Opening a Car Door @60mph
We on are way back from a day trip. The sun was glistening against the smooth ripples that raced across the lakes surface; the last rays were skipping down onto the shoreline where the ducks waddled gently out of the water. So low was the sun that it beamed right through the windows of the 8 seater van. All seats full with passengers, friends and family.
I was right beside the vans sliding door tumbling into a day dream. Thinking about school, about friends, about sport, about what would happen if you open the door. I wondered whether anyone would be crazy enough to try. I imagined the wind, the fresh air. I bet that would be quite fun I thought, stepping down another rung of the ladder, practically asleep.
"BEN!" I was awake in an instant. The door beside me had slid open. In shock I recoiled. Luckily I quickly managed to get it shut. My mother, who was sitting beside me, was holding firmly onto me - ensuring I didn't fall out.
Adrenaline was pumping through my body. What had just happened?
"Why did you do that," everyone asked me. Apparently I had just opened a car door, whilst going along at 60mph downhill without even meaning to - at least consciously.
This has haunted me slightly ever since. If I can do something dangerous, without even thinking about doing it, or appreciating what I am doing...Well that's quite scary.
Looking back now I think I thought I was dreaming so just did it. Unfortunately, I was still in that state where you are half dreaming and half not, and that door opening was definitely not a dream.
Sometimes I go back and wonder why on earth I did that. Eventually I came to the conclusion that the knowledge of the rush of adrenaline overcame my rational being. Its why I am not afraid of heights, rather afraid to go near them. I can now never know when the part of my brain that wants adrenaline is going to overcome my rational being. Its kind of freaky when I think about it.
As much as I might want to believe this is common I think there is a term for this. Adrenaline Junkie. Don't get me wrong I don't think I am anywhere close to the level of some of the people with this, "problem" - something I'm quite glad about. To clarify to any future employees out there, this happened when I was 8, I'm pretty sure its no longer a problem, for me at least.
Adrenaline Junkie is a weird one. People that need their fix of something natural, adrenaline, all to often. As far as I'm aware, unless you have an allergic reaction, the only way to get adrenaline is through fear or excitement. And that might be all well and good until you realise that the more you put yourself in these crazy situations the more you become used to them. Meaning next time around you have to go even crazier to get the same hit.
That's where the problem comes. The more these guys get used to risk... the more they are willing to take.
Its like Alex Honnold, climber and star of the movie Free Solo, says - something along the lines of - you have to remind yourself to be scared, it only becomes dangerous when the risk doesn't register with you any more, say when you tired or not completely focused, that's when people can take too much risk, that's when it becomes dangerous.
To leave this story with a conclusion I would probably say, use your adrenaline rushes sparingly - sure enjoy those roller coasters or going fast - but don't become dependant on it. Always ask yourself, what is the risk, has my evaluation been altered by being to used to these high risk, high adrenaline scenarios. And am I thinking straight and rationally right now, because you don't want to find out the answer to that question too late, as too many people have.